One of the greatest people I have ever known, Amberlin Wu. My God, I miss her every single day. She was a great fighter, and an unbelievable warrior for life and survival. She lived with the same illness as I have. ME/CFS (Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and other diagnoses.) Amberlin saved me, in so many ways. She helped me to get into art, and to believe that there was something to say within / throughout my art. Just thinking about her causes an indescribable pain that sinks my gut like a weight on the bottom of the ocean. It hurts. Though, I also feel inspired, and somehow lifted to the warm light of the sun when I see her in my mind, in my spirit. She and I still talk, just not out loud. She still visits me, just not in body. I just couldn't start a blog without posting one of my old Dr Dolan Reports articles, here, for her. For you.... So pleae, read about my friend. Then, go out and live every fullest possible second of your life, just as you always dreamed you would. Love you guys...
Love you Amberlin... Here is what I wrote about beautiful Amberlin...
The War Has Lost A Soldier, But Gained An Angel
Today, one more spirit dances. She dances without her body. Others must live, and continue dancing together, ready to fight, ready to love.
Dr Dolan reports:
Please, let me tell you a story.
Amberlin Wu was born a strong spirited child, ready for the world ahead of her. She had passions to become a leader, a lover, a healer, a dancer. So much inside of her. She, like so many, became ill at a very young age. She was diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. She was pushed around in the medical system, and the more that she needed help, the more battle scars she began collecting. You see, our modern medical system is full of too much ego, and not enough compassion. Amberlin’s illness was a mysterious one, and doctors brushed her off when they did not have the answers. Amberlin, like so many of us, once thought that doctors were there to help you through your process of illness. She believed that people became doctors because they were compassionate.
Amberlin was so compassionate that she herself even attended medical school at one point. She was too ill to continue, so she danced. But then, she was too ill to continue dancing, so she began advocating. She fought for the rights of all people like her, with this mystery disease. But when she went to rally her medical troops, her battle field was nearly empty. ...Where were the doctors she grew up with? Where were those healthy allies she had devoted so much of her life to? She was pushed aside by so many people she trusted, and thus began her collection of battle scars. Ironically, she prepared for a war, ready to face the opposition on the other side of her; little did she know that her battle scars would come from her own side of the war. The sad thing is, when we become so ill that we need our friends and neighbors to carry us, we have a hard time fighting a fight. And without the support of the medical community, she faced a losing battle, against her own team.
Still, she did not give up. She began finding little peaks of light in the corners of this dark battle field. She began finding other wounded fighters like her. She stretched her arms and extended her own light into the souls of these other fighters. The more that she shared her light, the stronger they became. In turn, these other wounded soldiers shared their own light. And a miraculous thing occurred. A light.
A beautiful light.
Among the wreckage of this dim army, began to grow a seed of light, that grew to a garden of hope and strength. She was connected to them all, every last beautiful bloom, Amberlin was connected. She began to see an army forming. People began rising above their suffering and bringing their voices together as one harmonious chorus. “Louder. Louder. Sing your truth, louder!” the people cried.
An army arose, a beautiful brigade of invisible fighters. There were children, mothers, fathers, teachers, and yes, even some doctors. Together, they were strong, and Amberlin was on that very front line. The people beside her, the people behind her, the light all around her. “Share your stories, tell your truths!” she cried again. “Tell your truths!” The people began holding hands and marching forward. They shared their truths, and they shared their growing light with the world ahead of them. Amberlin, along with so many, now had a mission; a dangerous, scary, magnificent and valiant mission. One with hope now, and one with a real army. An army of survivors.
Together they were strong! And together they remain strong. ...Amberlin grew too weak to continue fighting this war for health and compassion. She, like so many others, began her completion of this circle in life. Her own personal battle was fought, and she fought so damn hard. She was a true soldier, a warrior... a hero. My hero. Amberlin, my hero forever.
One last thing to mention about this story. Just as she approached the end of her circle of life, she reached out her hand once more. She held the weight of her life in her hands, and she told the people, “Be a light. Be your own light of strength. Tell your stories, and remember to love the ones around you. Love this life and hold tightly to each other. Always remember me, and always... be a light.”
Amberlin now has been released from her body. She is free to dance and play among the light. She rejoices in us all, we who are able to stay and fight. She wants us to continue to tell our stories, continue our fight. And she wants us to remember her light. Feel her light, guiding us, and comforting us.
We will find a cure for these waring diseases, we will no longer be invisible. We just have to continue shining our own lights among the dark corners of this world. Now is not the time to give up, my friends! Now is just the time to pick up our spirits, pull together and fight this fight in honor of Amberlin, and in honor of ourselves! Who is with me?! Are you in?!
Let’s go win this battle with our light. And let us remember to give ourselves moments of laughter, dance and play along the way.
Amberlin, I will love you forever, my old friend, my new angel. I will never give up.
And now, I leave you with a painting that I created. Every painting that I make has a story behind it. Amberlin loved this one so much. She inspired me to create art in my canvas, and art in my life. This piece now has such a different meaning to me. This one’s for you, m’dear...
She is a wise and old woman, alone in her body. She is ill and her life has been lived. When she was young, she had dreams of a life ahead, full and rich with laughter and singing. She lies now, alone and still. She drifts off into her slumber and she finds that she is young again. Young forever. ...Now, she dances.
She knows that her body is weak, but her spirit is not. She still has a life to live and a song to dance to. All of life, around her and throughout her, is a beautiful rhythm that connects all things living. She sees it, she feels it, she becomes it. She is no longer alone. She is no longer ill. She is no longer quiet, and no longer still. She is the wise, young spirit, free in her body. She has forgotten her pain, and found her rhythm once again. She knows that her suffering has led her into a life of strength, bravery, love and music forever. ...Now, she dances.
This painting is about hope. Even when we are tired and we are ill, there is always a spirit among our hurting bodies. Suffering brings wisdom, and patience brings strength. When you are scared and lonely, remember that in spirit, there is always a living rhythm that sings of hope. When we listen for the music among the quiet suffering, finally... the spirit dances.
Dr Franky Dolan
(In the video: The three amigos; Amberlin, Monica and Franky. Friends forever, my little muddipuppies)